A good one from The Onion - Unreleased Jimmy Page Guitar Riff To Be Retrieved From Secret Vault To Save Rock And Roll.

Here’s a quote:

The Guardians [of the Protectorate of Rock] said recent developments in the music world, such as the unaccountable popularity of the Dixie Chicks and Sufjan Stevens, have created a “perfect storm of lameness” from which rock might never recover. While [Black Sabbath guitarist Tony] Iommi refused to say when the vault would be opened, hard rock sources believe it will take place just prior to next month’s Fall Out Boy–Honda Civic tour, which many fear will suck the remaining lifeblood from all that still rocks.

“Citizens of Rock, we refuse to stand idly by any longer,” ZZ Top founder and Protectorate High Elder Billy Gibbons said. “When a puss like James Blunt is allowed to rule the airwaves, we must respond by exposing this monster riff, and blowing minds into the stratosphere.”

The Protectorate, devoted to the preservation of badass jams and blistering guitar solos, was reportedly formed in the 1970s during the rise of adult contemporary music. According to legend, the riff, played only once by Page and recorded on a special cobalt record, contains the raw power, mind-blowing skill, and unbridled passion of all the Guardians combined. Recently translated parchments from the era describe it as a soul-searing power-chord progression faintly resembling a cross between “Smoke On The Water” and “Living Loving Maid,” but “basically defying all description.”

It is believed that, upon the riff’s release, even those who claim that the genre is dead will have no choice but to pump their fists, bang their heads, and bow down to the gods of rock for all eternity.

I love The Onion.