Well, as I promised, here is somewhat of a review of our evening with Jerry Seinfeld last night. I’m not sure if the concert was sold out, but I didn’t really see any empty seats. It was packed. And it was hilarious.

Mario Joyner opened up for Jerry. I’ve seen Joyner here and there, including a couple of Seinfeld episodes and Jerry’s documentary Comedian. He was very funny. The guy who opened for Jerry when we saw him in Huntsville three years ago was okay, but Joyner kept me laughing the whole time. He performed for something like 20 minutes, maybe longer. The whole evening went by so fast it was hard to tell.

One of my favorites among Joyner’s observations was his questioning why there have been no further advances in prostate examinations:

It’s the year 2006 and we’re still using the finger. The finger is not an instrument. It’s what you use when you don’t have an instrument. We have laser eye surgery now, but for this a doctor who’s been to years of medical school is still using his finger?

After Joyner left the stage, there was only a brief intermission - as in about 30-60 seconds, before Jerry appeared on stage. Just like last time, there was no introduction. He just walked out and the crowd went nuts.

My wife commented after the show that she thought he was a little funnier when we saw him 3 years ago. I thought it was about the same. I laughed so much my eyes were watering several times. The main thing I hate about these types of events is that I can never remember everything that I thought was so funny. But, I do what I can. So, here’s a few things I found humorous, and there’s no doubt I’m leaving some out. Perhaps I’ll post more in the future as I recall them.

On Iraq and the war on terror:

We can’t seem to catch the terrorists, but we have a lot of film of them training. Lots of footage of them running through tires and climbing across the monkey bars. Maybe we should be following the guy who’s dropping off these cans of film. And what’s with the monkey bars? They seem to really be concentrating on the monkey bars. Have there been a lot of wars fought in which important battles took place on a children’s playground?

On TV advertising by drug companies:

These drug companies do a lot of advertising now without telling you what the medication is for. A guy comes out of the office, gets in the car, and turns to his wife and says, “My doctor says Cramitol.” Then the voice says, “Call your doctor to find out if Cramitol is for you.” Or “I’m on the purple pill” and then the guy’s climbing rocks. Why are you on the purple pill?? … And why are people with acid reflux disease hanging around the edge of a volcano? Wouldn’t they want to avoid these hot regurgitating liquids?

On weddings:

For those of you in the audience who my be engaged, I want to tell you something that nobody else will tell you. Not your family, not your friends, nobody. I may be the only person who can tell you this. Nobody wants to come to your weddding. I realize you’re in love, you want to spend the rest of your lives together, and do many things. So, why don’t you just do it? Why ruin the day of 150 other people?

On cremation:

Cremation has become more popular. It used to be that people wanted a granite stone, with your name chisled in big letters, a stone that said “I was here, dammit!” With cremation, it’s like you’re trying to cover up a crime. “Burn the body, scatter the ashes… I was never here!”

There was also a humorous moment when, while talking about his mother’s residence in Florida, some clown yelled out “Del Boca Vista!”, which was the name of one of the condos where Jerry’s parents on Seinfeld lived. Jerry commented:

Oh, very good, yes, that’s from the show. I wrote that. By the way, there’s nothing funnier to a comedian than when other people shout his jokes back to him. It’s like if you went to work and told someone a joke, and the next day they came back in and told you that same joke.

There was so much more that I can’t remember right now. And, what I do remember isn’t nearly as funny when in print, having been typed from my bad memory, as it was when Jerry delivered it live last night. But trust me, it was a great show. If you have the chance to see him live, do it. You won’t be disappointed.